Past the 6th day
Friday 13 June 2014Hi hi do u guys like my midnight emotional posts i type on my phone when im in bed ha ha ha ha
Haiya anw u r probably reading this bcos u are bored ah all these night owls
I feel like shiiiiiiit and i hate myself for feeling like that lah.... i know perfectly well i have good friends who care (tyvm muah) but sometimes ur depressed inner-monster (is there such a word) just gets the best of u leh u know what i mean right!!!!
I didn't have a very good week at all..... in fact i think its the worst week ive experienced in months. I cant with my various work places anymore omggggggg
Verrrrrry briefly I've been getting scolded (shouted even wts) by customers over ridiculous things more often lately and i cant lah i just cant i get v frustrated w myself
On wednesday i wanted to sit on the pavement and cry u know to that extent
Anyway my work is not the main point... its just that when shit happens the first person i call/text/run to is yl
but he hasnt been here la.. i mean the past few weeks we can squeeze a text or two every night and i get to see him few hours each week
but (again LOL) nw hes in one of his field camps again so ive had zero contact with him. he also did "stupid stuff" (im quoting him) inside so he has extra duties for dk how many weekends i forgot what he explained to me liao LOL
i sound very childish like wahpiang maybe like 9 days only right but HAIYA cut me some slack im a little bit more disturbed than usual this week mah so my feels are like amplified :-( HAIS
I mean i hate that im sooooooo used to and rely on him so much i just feel super clingy like spiderman but....
BASICALLY all im trying to say is that i miss him and im trying to justify it hahaahahahaha wts 神经病
how do those other 过来人 (ns gfs) survive are u all superwoman??? Lol i have sooo much respect give me some tips can anot
So many things i took for granted in the past. we used to argue a lot more (as compared to now) too. even in the very beginning which everyone calls the honeymoon period erm we fought almost every other day LOL be it over small or big things. problems with ourselves, problems with faith, problems with others (tbh i had a tough time w his parents),i problems with so many things la... as time passed, we STILL continued fighting bahahahaha even until i think last month! so our fights never ended and in fact few mths ago it got so bad we almost called it off btwn us. (hint u all rmb one of my earlier posts) eventually we took a break frm each other for a week or so. THEN we got back agn naturally. like no explanations, no apologies, no nothing its like everything fell into place (I KNOW sounds very lame but we rly didnt talk abt that incident much at all. i ALSO know that its bad because by right u SHOULD talk it out maturely right?? still we didnt bahahhah)
honestly many things that we fight abt... they are never resolved LOL we just push them to the back of our heads and nvr bring it up ever again. so sometimes we can argue abt the same things for 10 times bcos it has nvr been solved wts noobs
ANYWAY it was only until few weeks ago that it occurred to me, why do we still fight? At firt i thought we were only bickering.. Then it became annoying and frustrating to fight all the damn time so i thought our feelings faded w time (and that felt quite scary). but no, now i realise that when u care for sth more, u react more. Idk why we were wasting time fighting.. so many times i needed him for support but hes in camp. im guessing there were just as many times he wished i was thr when hes tired but im not.
all thesefeelings... so hard yet so real. Now all i do is spend every single minute preciously with him. i give in more and i control tantrums more because its not worth it. its not worth crying his book out days away anymore. Last week we only saw each other for an hour during my dinner break at work but that has been the best hour of my week. That is how blessed he makes me feel. I KNOW LAH very cheesy but its true..
Another thing i was very thankful for last week was that he told me he missed me. at the start (yes may i quote the honeymoon period again) maybe i still got chance to hear such things from him but now pffffffffft 等久一点 la hor hahahahaahahahahaa
so anyway omg he rarely/NEVER tells me that... but recently he has been telling me he wants to see me more and im very very grateful bcos he never used to be vocal abt such stuff.. (dont include the honeymoon period all guys are the same friggin sweet talkers).
sometimes his thumb will randomly rub circular motions on the back of my hand while hes talking. this is another way (which i have just learnt) in which he expresses how he feels. men all the same ego mah mouth made from gold one u all know
im v sleepy and quite out of it now at midnight but i want to type this out now bcos idw to forget how i feel at the moment. I have survived the 6th day with zero contact!! 3 more days now..... gambatteeee
but (again LOL) nw hes in one of his field camps again so ive had zero contact with him. he also did "stupid stuff" (im quoting him) inside so he has extra duties for dk how many weekends i forgot what he explained to me liao LOL
i sound very childish like wahpiang maybe like 9 days only right but HAIYA cut me some slack im a little bit more disturbed than usual this week mah so my feels are like amplified :-( HAIS
I mean i hate that im sooooooo used to and rely on him so much i just feel super clingy like spiderman but....
BASICALLY all im trying to say is that i miss him and im trying to justify it hahaahahahaha wts 神经病
how do those other 过来人 (ns gfs) survive are u all superwoman??? Lol i have sooo much respect give me some tips can anot
So many things i took for granted in the past. we used to argue a lot more (as compared to now) too. even in the very beginning which everyone calls the honeymoon period erm we fought almost every other day LOL be it over small or big things. problems with ourselves, problems with faith, problems with others (tbh i had a tough time w his parents),i problems with so many things la... as time passed, we STILL continued fighting bahahahaha even until i think last month! so our fights never ended and in fact few mths ago it got so bad we almost called it off btwn us. (hint u all rmb one of my earlier posts) eventually we took a break frm each other for a week or so. THEN we got back agn naturally. like no explanations, no apologies, no nothing its like everything fell into place (I KNOW sounds very lame but we rly didnt talk abt that incident much at all. i ALSO know that its bad because by right u SHOULD talk it out maturely right?? still we didnt bahahhah)
honestly many things that we fight abt... they are never resolved LOL we just push them to the back of our heads and nvr bring it up ever again. so sometimes we can argue abt the same things for 10 times bcos it has nvr been solved wts noobs
ANYWAY it was only until few weeks ago that it occurred to me, why do we still fight? At firt i thought we were only bickering.. Then it became annoying and frustrating to fight all the damn time so i thought our feelings faded w time (and that felt quite scary). but no, now i realise that when u care for sth more, u react more. Idk why we were wasting time fighting.. so many times i needed him for support but hes in camp. im guessing there were just as many times he wished i was thr when hes tired but im not.
all thesefeelings... so hard yet so real. Now all i do is spend every single minute preciously with him. i give in more and i control tantrums more because its not worth it. its not worth crying his book out days away anymore. Last week we only saw each other for an hour during my dinner break at work but that has been the best hour of my week. That is how blessed he makes me feel. I KNOW LAH very cheesy but its true..
Another thing i was very thankful for last week was that he told me he missed me. at the start (yes may i quote the honeymoon period again) maybe i still got chance to hear such things from him but now pffffffffft 等久一点 la hor hahahahaahahahahaa
so anyway omg he rarely/NEVER tells me that... but recently he has been telling me he wants to see me more and im very very grateful bcos he never used to be vocal abt such stuff.. (dont include the honeymoon period all guys are the same friggin sweet talkers).
sometimes his thumb will randomly rub circular motions on the back of my hand while hes talking. this is another way (which i have just learnt) in which he expresses how he feels. men all the same ego mah mouth made from gold one u all know
im v sleepy and quite out of it now at midnight but i want to type this out now bcos idw to forget how i feel at the moment. I have survived the 6th day with zero contact!! 3 more days now..... gambatteeee
(Bahaha i have been repeatedly telling jo i wna talk to yl so bad so she has been counting down tgt for me HAHAHA 笑死我)
Ive now learnt that what matters is how we spend our time tgt, not how much time tgt do we have to spend.
aiya im sorry so 肉麻 im just not having a good week this is rly how i feel so be kind give me a break thank u :-( HAIS X2
Ive now learnt that what matters is how we spend our time tgt, not how much time tgt do we have to spend.
aiya im sorry so 肉麻 im just not having a good week this is rly how i feel so be kind give me a break thank u :-( HAIS X2
Okie i need to work tmr again zzzzz bye go n sleep la ok u all
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